To Educators: We See You

December 16, 2015Leave a comment

Inspired by Edna Sackson’s latest blog post To Teachers Everywhere and tailored to the wonderful educators at our school specifically.

In case you think it goes unnoticed…

To the educator who gives up part of their weekend to support their students’ action. We see you.

To the educator who stands at the door to greet each and every student, each and every day. We see you.

To the educator who goes out for extra duties, often just to play with students. We see you.

To the educator who has a PYP binder full of notes, highlights and post-its. We see you.

To the educator supports student learners with an array of interventions, techniques, modifications, and strategies within the classroom. We see you.

To to the educator who gives up part of their morning prep to offer extra support to their students. We see you.

To the educator who is often here until 6:00 pm each night. We see you.

To the educator who comes in every Saturday. We see you.

To the educator who has “taught” other staff about giving and sharing. We see you.

To the educator who gets behind in their own work because they are busy supporting their new team members. We see you.

To the educator who nurtures students and supports their emotional learning. We see you.

To the educator who takes time to provide meaningful feedback on a daily basis to the parents of a struggling student. We see you.

To the educator who throws away their lesson plan to follow a student-led inquiry. We see you.

To the educator who is dealing with parents who may not yet understand how we teach in the PYP, yet perseveres and stays true to what they believe is best for students. We see you.

To the educator who is sitting at their computer not booking trips or checking facebook – but instead reading blogs and posting on Twitter. We see you.

To the educator who apologizes to their students when they make a mistake. We see you.

To the educator who gives up their break to help a student, even though you haven’t eaten or gone to the bathroom in hours. We see you.

To the educator who looks at each student holistically and supports her/his social-emotional and behavioral development alongside the academic. We see you.

To the educator who stops at every classroom after school to check in with coworkers and make sure they are getting the support they need. We see you.

To the educator who gives time, self, money, resources to students, parents, coworkers, and administration from the good of the heart — never seeking praise. We see you.

To the educator who refuses to label or make generalizations about groups of students. We see you.

To the educator who uses humor with students and is never afraid to break the tension with a joke. We see you.

To the educator who is dealing with challenging situations in personal life but never lets it impact student learning and professional responsibilities. We see you.

To the educator who has been teaching for many years, but gave up old practices and adopted new ones. We see you.

To the educator who refuses to embarrass or humiliate students. We see you.

To the educator who gives up time with family and children to support school-wide initiatives and programs. We see you.

To the educator who spends precious prep time promoting health and creating new athletic opportunities for students. We see you.

To the educator who refuses to believe that early learners are not capable of deep, critical thinking. We see you.

To the educator who has spent countless hours building a classroom community built around mutual respect, caring, and compassion. We see you.

To the educator who may be quiet during sharing times at meetings, but has amazing learning happening in their classroom. We see you.

To the educator who takes risks and tries new things they may have never dreamed of doing in their classroom. We see you.

To the educator who went a different direction from the rest of their team because they felt it was better for students. We see you.

To the educator who dreads dust days and unexpected holidays because it takes away from learning time. We see you.

To the educator who let their students redesign their classroom and their schedule part way through the year. We see you.

To the educator who is never satisfied with her/himself as a teacher and spends endless hours trying to improve. We see you.

To the educator, who takes the time to tie a shoe, pick up a book, carry a bag. We see you.

To the educator who maintains and practices confidentiality with students and coworkers. We see you.

To the educator who lives, breathes, practices, and promotes inquiry with student and adult learners. We see you.

To the educator who refuses to countdown to holidays because they believe in the power of each instructional day. We see you.

We may not always take the time to say it, but we see you and appreciate all the amazing things you do for the students at our school.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Making Good Humans & Globally Minded Counselor

The Power of Notes

November 23, 2015November 24, 20151 Comment

I have a very simple, tried-and-true, stand-by counseling technique that I believe could benefit and improve the practice of all educators — not just school counselors. It is a quick, easy, and effective tool that often takes only a few moments to use with a long lasting impact. It is a practice that creates connections, is student-centered, and promotes well-being in the classroom. It is a tool I turn to over and over again and am continually shocked, amazed, and surprised with the outcome. What is this magic tool? A note.

Dr. Linda Metcalf writes of uses notes in her counseling practice to connect with students, remind them of their goals, and to celebrate successes. When I first learned of this tool to support counseling, it naturally stuck in my mind. Personally I have always enjoyed writing and sending hand-written notes. These might be to give thanks, to celebrate, or to simply say “I’m thinking of you.” In my personal life, I have always received positive feedback about how meaningful notes are and how they make an individual feel. Therefore, when I learned this could become part of my professional practice, I was an immediate believer. If a note has such an impact to someone who does not necessarily “need” support, how much more of an impact could it have then on a student who is working through a problem, issue, or stressful event. I was excited to see if this was a meaningful and authentic tool to add to my counseling tool-box.

The first time I wrote a note to a student, I was unsure how it would be received. I was working with a student who lacked a positive school affiliation. He had bought into the belief that he was not smart, a troublemaker, and that no teacher liked him. After meeting a few times together (and feeling like our sessions were not moving forward), I decided to write him a note. It was simple. I took construction paper, some markers, and sat at my desk. In the note, I greeted him, told him good morning, and that I was very excited to have him at school that day. I wrote that I could not wait to see him after lunch and hear how his morning had gone. Then, I went to his classroom and placed the note on his desk in an inconspicuous place.

That morning, during passing periods, I noticed that this student was smiling more and seemed a little more happy. At lunch, he was engaged with friends and joined in a game. At our session that afternoon, he did not mention the note but he did seem (for the first time) to be excited to connect with me and create a plan for how to complete some missing assignments. It was the first time that he fully bought into our counseling session and advocated for his own needs instead of believing what others thought of him.

Since this experience years ago, I have regularly used the note as part of my counseling practice.

If a student is struggling to separate from parents and caregivers in the morning, I write a note saying how glad I am they are at school and how proud I am of them for joining their learning community without fear.

If a student is new to our school and trying to transition in, I write a note acknowledging the fear and bravery that comes from entering a community where no one knows you.

If a student is working through a death or divorce, I write a note commending the student on his/her ability to be at school, learning, thinking, and participating when her/his mind might not feel like it.

If a student has been working on changing a behavior from an undesirable one to a more pro-social one, I write a note praising the student on a time I “caught” them in the desirable behavior and stating I am eager to see the momentum continue.

At times, a student will come by and say “thank you” for the note. Most often, they do not. I do see little changes, though, whether it be in a smile, a change in behavior, stopping to say hi more often, or a little more buy-in during future interactions. I do often hear from teachers, parents, and other stakeholders that when the student read the note, there was a genuine smile on the student’s face. And, every once in a blue moon, a student writes me a note back! For me, that is enough to keep writing notes and believing in the power of them to positively impact students. In fact, the note is one of the most used tools in my counseling tool-box.

Is there a student you think could benefit from a personalized note? Have you used notes in your educational practice before? Are there other ways you think a note could benefit the school community?

Simulations in Guidance: Mock Day

May 25, 2015May 25, 2015Leave a comment

Socratic Seminars. Tea Parties. Historian’s Breakfast. Process Dramas. In today’s relevant classroom, simulations are everywhere. Simulations — intentionally staged activities and event that bring real world experiences in the classroom setting so as to enhance student learning — are an integral portion of a student’s learning and understanding of concepts in today’s global classroom. Simulations — no matter how simple or complex — are a powerful learning tool in that often mimic real life and real world experiences. According to Edgar Dale’s Cone of Experience, the very best learning experiences occur when doing the real thing. Simulations fall only second to the “real thing.” Therefore, to create meaningful learning for students, simulations should be planned and included in their educational process.

So what does this mean for a school counselor? How can a school counselor create simulation experiences that are meaningful, authentic, and have a lasting impact on student learning? How does a counselor engage students using simulations that impact the academic, social-emotional, career, or global development of a child? Should school counselors spend time creating simulations or should that work be left to homeroom teachers?

Just like a homeroom teacher, a counselor should be skilled in creating simulations to engage student inquiry and learning. One way I have managed to successfully use simulations to create meaningful learning opportunities for students is during our elementary to middle school transition program. In spite of all three divisions being housed on the same gated campus, our grade 5 students complete a comprehensive transitions guidance program. This includes classroom guidance around reflecting on the elementary and PYP experience, having questions answered about middle school and the MYP, participating in middle school tours, meeting middle school ambassadors and advisors, attending a middle school assembly, and more. However, what came to surface is that even with all this programming, students still walked around with a lot of unease and trepidation about what middle school looks like, feels like, and sounds like. The unknown experiences were causing a lot of stress. I could answer all the questions I wanted about changing for PE but since the students had never experienced this activity — their unease remained.

Enter guidance simulation activity.

After consulting with the grade five teaching team, a Middle School Mock Day simulation was designed and implemented. This means our grade 5 students spend a whole day experiencing middle school in the comfort of their own elementary hall.

Students in first five minute transition period. Chaos ensues.

How it works: Each homeroom teacher is assigned a teaching subject for the day. These subjects are based off the current offerings our grade six students have. We bring in specialist teachers to cover specific subjects and to create prep periods for our homeroom teachers. A master set of student schedules is created based on the middle school timetable (55 minute classes with 5 minute passing periods). Students are assigned a schedule at random with consideration being made to accommodate mother tongue class needs. PE space, break space, canteen needs, supervision, and supplies are all arranged as necessary. A meeting is held with all staff involved or impacted by Mock Day to go over logistics and questions. Students are then briefed about the day and informed that, just like in middle school, they are going to have a random, rotating schedule of classes that is made up of random groupings of their peers. They are informed that they might not have all the classes being offered (as true at the middle school level) and that they might have different peers in each class. They are also notified about now only having one lunch break (compared to the 2 in elementary) as well as only having one small “play” area instead of a playground. They are told about the daily advisory class in middle school which in the simulation means the students go back to their homeroom teachers to do some debriefing and reflecting about the day. Just like in middle school, advisory is a brief time with a trusted adult to discuss current things happening in the students’ lives and create strategies or interventions to solve problems and be successful. In the Mock Day simulation planning process we try to balance the amount of information we provide students so that they are comfortable while still leaving room for inquiry and for an organic experience to unfold. It is important to let the day play out for the students — we have not made everything “safe” for them which would create an inauthentic experience as there are always unknowns in life.

To allow the simulation to have the most impact we also enforce middle school rules: students must wear pants (no shorts) with their uniform, they cannot use mobile phones as devices, they collect tardies if they do not make it to class on time during the five minute transition and — the biggest one of all — the students have to change into and out of their PE uniforms prior to PE (which every student is guaranteed to have on his/her schedule). *Out of all the biggest fears, worries, and concerns about moving to middle school, changing for PE is consistently listed as the biggest worry. Once again, we could talk about it being easy and not scary but until the students experience it, the fear remains real.*

On Mock Day, students arrive to school with their schedules and begin the rotation process. A bell is used to indicate the start and end of classes and warnings are provided as the 5 minute passing period counts down. When staff see students struggling, frustrated, or perhaps engaged in an undesirable behavior, we pull the student aside to have a conversation and to make a connection to middle school. Every situation is presented as a learning experience.

The energy at the start of Mock Day is high. Students are excited, staff are engaged, and learning is occurring authentically. Not only is there the academic learning, but more importantly, social and emotional learning is taking place. It is amazing to see the student energy shift throughout the day when students get settled in. The frenzy dies out and the confidence sets in. Students are spending more of their transition time at their cubbies (lockers), having snacks between classes, visiting with friends. Also, after their PE changing experience when students successfully change clothes, fill their water bottles, and make it to class on time, the smile on their faces is evidence that this unease about changing is diminishing — through experience, the students have developed in the social-emotional domain.

By the end of Mock Day, students are tired yet happy and invigorated. The feedback/reflection sheets are genuinely positive and supportive of the simulation process. Student feedback shows an increase in confidence about middle school, a connection that middle school is not that different from middle school, an excitement to move up to the middle school campus, and a lot of thanks for having the mock day simulation.

So, do simulations have a place in guidance? Is it the school counselor’s responsibility to provide experiential learning opportunities for students? Absolutely. By providing a Mock Day for our students, the middle school transition process moved from theoretical to concrete. Students developed not only in the academic but also the social-emotional domains. Through a simulation, students were able to experience activities that helped alleviate concerns and fears. The simulation helped students develop confidence and understand that in all actuality, middle school is not so different from elementary. Most importantly, the simulation allowed students to face the unknown in a supportive, familiar environment surrounded by their peers and teachers who could address concerns and celebrate successes as they happened.

This is one method of using simulations to promote guidance activities. What are some other ideas on how to use simulations as a school counselor? How have you used simulations to support the academic, career, or social-emotional development of students?

A Framework for Support

May 13, 2015May 13, 20152 Comments

Part of the counseling practice involves providing support — support to students, support to parents, support to colleagues, support to administration. Often this comes in the form of professional support. Sometimes this comes in the form of emotional support. No matter the form, being supportive is a skill. It is a skill that needs thought, reflection, and action. It is also a skill that needs practiced and developed. Too often someone might believe they are being supportive and yet, their actions –however well intended — can be causing more harm than doing good.

As a practitioner, I have spent a lot of time thinking about and reflecting on support. I have come up with my own framework of support that is applicable to staff, students, friends, family, alike. In my framework, there are five points to always consider so as to be effective and intentional with support.

1. Support looks different for every individual. How I would define support is different from how my partner would define support is different from how my co-worker would define support. Every individual, in a time of need, has unique and particular ways that he/she would like to receive support. Each individual also has distinct, personal criteria that would be perceived as unsupportive. It is not enough to assume that my definition of support is the same criteria that anyone else would use to define support. Support is usually such a mashup of different standards that it is impossible to guess the criterion someone might place in the “when I feel supported” category. For some, support means a kind, comforting word. For some it might be being physically present with another person. For some, it might mean being left alone. For some it might mean springing into action and distracting the individual from whatever is on his/her mind. The list of possibilities is endless. Therefore, what I always tell people, “The best thing you do to support someone is ask them ‘What does support mean to you?’” This is the first step in creating a genuine and meaningful supportive relationship. Have the person voice what support looks like, feels like, and sounds like — in his or her perspective. That way you (as the supporter) have a clear understanding of what the friend, co-worker, student, etc. is looking for. With a clear definition in mind, you have a clear starting point or jumping off place to ensure genuine support can provided.

2. Unless you know how the individual defines support, you are most likely setting up a situation of disappointment and failed expectations. The biggest mistake is jumping in to provide support without first having a clear working-definition of what support looks like to the individual who needs it. A co-worker is at a loss with her classroom and the behaviors of her students. She comes in saying “I don’t know what to do.” The counselor jumps in by coming into her class, creating behavior plans for specific students, reestablishing routines, doing guidance on pro-social behaviors — and the teacher feels worse than when she went in “asking” for support. Why? Because the counselor did what she thought was supportive. The teacher just felt challenged, undermined, and like her professionalism was being called into question. If the counselor had simply asked (prior to jumping into action) “What can I do to support you? What does support look like to you?” then the counselor would have been able to see the teacher just wanted someone to listen to her and validate her feelings. She did not need more than a quiet ear. In other words, we can spring into action based on our definition of support. We can walk away feeling proud of ourselves for being so supportive. The other party involved, though, might feel like we did nothing, that there was no follow through, or that we minimized his/her issue. The individual receiving support may feel like his/her expectations were not met and the person providing the support might never understand what they did wrong (which in this case was offer support based on his/her interpretation, not the person needed supporting). It’s a lose-lose situation for both parties involved. Start with a clear understanding of support and eliminate the confusion and disappointment that can ensue when neither party involved was aware of the others expectations from the start.

3. Support does not mean solving the problem or having the answer. A lot of people do not offer support because they do not feel like they know “what to do.” You don’t need to know what to do! Support means being present as an individual, friend, student, family member, works towards resolution, closure, or clarity. People often think that to be supportive means making the issue go away. This is simply not the case. Rather, be there, listen, validate, question, challenge the person asking for support. Let them bounce ideas off of you. Don’t feel responsible for having to make everything better. Just focus on being supportive in the way that he/she expressed would make him/her feel supported.

4. There can be too much support. There is a fine line between being supportive and being suffocating. If you feel that someone needs support — ASK. Don’t assume you can be of assistance and then find out that you are bothering, annoying, and adding additional stress to their life. Maybe you are not the person they will turn to. Maybe at this time they want to muddle through the mess on their own. Do not overdo the support or feel like you have to be involved in the support. It all comes back to that word “ask.”

5. Support is ongoing — not a one time event. If you step up to offer someone support, remember that you are making a commitment to him/her for an unspecified amount of time. Do not make the offer and commitment to support someone if you do not have the time, resources, energy, or capacity to see the process through to fruition. That is unfair to everyone and in that situation, no one walks away feeling good.

These are my go to points when people inquire into support. What are some things you consider when offering support to someone? What are some barriers to offering support? What are some tools you use to create meaningful supportive interactions?

Being Reflective with “Trouble Starters”

April 15, 2015April 15, 2015Leave a comment

“How do I make friends?” “How do I keep friends?” These are two of the questions that I am most frequently asked by students across all grade levels in my daily counseling practice. In response, I always start by turning back to the IB Learner Profile and reviewing with students what it means to be reflective. Students explain their knowledge and understanding of this profile trait and I reiterate that being reflective means thinking about yourself and the role you play in any situation.

Then, I turn to one of my most trusted resources to help students in their reflection process and in making meaning of their friendship questions and issues. I pull out my “Trouble Starters” list which I originally found in a book from the American Girl Company called Friends: Making them and keeping them (Criswell, 2006). This resource names 10 actions or choices that a student (or adult) might make that would most likely cause conflict with a friend.

10 Trouble Starters in an infographic I made for use in my counseling practice.

Together the student and I look through the list, one item at a time. I make sure the student understands what each action means and that they have context for the statement. We then spend time dialoguing around why this might cause problems with friends. Then, I ask the student to reflect silently on if she/he might have ever intentionally or accidentally engaged in that action. Often the student shares out his/her response and a personal example or connection. After this I always ask, “In the future, what will look different?” At this point, the student usually spends some time thinking and responding about different choices she/he could make to avoid a trouble starter with friends. Sometimes we spend time planning for actual conversations or situations. Sometimes it is more theoretical or vague. No matter what, I always communicate that we are focusing on his/her actions NOT the friend’s actions as the only person we can ever change is our self.

I have found that this list of Trouble Starters is a powerful tool for students of all ages as they can make personal connections between their actions and the impact on the friendship. Each trouble starter also seems to be a universal action that students comprehend regardless of home culture, community, or country making this a great resource for the international school community. I have also had many students report back when they 1) caused conflict with friends by using a trouble starter or 2) avoided conflict by choosing a different action. When this happens I always acknowledge the student being reflective and either celebrate or counsel accordingly.

Trouble Starters has been in my counseling tool kit for years. What other resources do you rely on to explicitly teach friendship skills? How do you encourage student reflection?

Criswell, P.K. (2006). Friends: Making them and keeping them. Middleton, WI: American Girls Publishing, Inc.